The Perfect Gift

What Every Woman Wants

I admit, starting a post with the above statement may scare some people off, but I promise, this is about me and not aimed to sell any products at all, so read carefully what I am about to tell you about myself. Maybe I am not like most other women. Or maybe I just want to believe I am different. Most likely, I am probably just hoping for individuality. In other words, I want to be noticed as an individual and not as an object or someone’s sister, girlfriend, mom or wife – a shell.

Regardless; what I have in common with millions of other women in the world is that I want to be read. I know men will roll their eyes at this statement in utter annoyance, wondering how they are supposed to read a person. Additionally, a few men have probably given up already, thinking they are no psychics and left it at that. Typically those men will get exactly the reaction no one wants for buying the wrong gift, unless their partners are good actresses. But, I am telling you, there is hope, even for you. Why? Because women are not asking you to read their minds, we simply want you to pay attention to our wishes.

When it comes to what women want for Christmas – same applies to birthdays, anniversaries to name a few – most of us are not about the biggest rock or the most expensive purse. We have different needs and wishes and we will hint to you what they are. So, do not wait until a week before Christmas and then buy something under pressure, simply listen to us. Especially when you are at a shopping mall or a store. Your woman will mention if she sees something she likes. She will also tell you what she thought about buying but isn’t sure, like that expensive pot that is supposed to cook food while preserving vitamins and minerals. Or that hair dryer that is not supposed to damage your hair. In fact, she has probably mentioned that her perfume is used up last week. Maybe she even told you how she has been feeling stressed out lately – use that as a hint and book a spa weekend.

Never buy anything without thinking. Listen to her needs when she verbalizes them and write a mental note. And that is, now pay attention men, what you should do all year around. So, your idea for Christmas could have come from something she has mentioned in March during a family weekend in Boston.

Yes, and please do not forget to tell her you got that specific gift because of what she mentioned, trust me, you will never go back buying a standard gift a saleswoman recommended to you, when you see her reaction. She will definitely express her thankfulness, not only for the item you got for her, but for actually being with a man who understands her needs and listens to her.

My pet – a composition

Is it true that pets really resemble their owners? In other words, does a pet really reflect their owners' characteristics? What if your pet seems completely different from you, such as an aggressive dog whose owner is a calm, old lady -- the seemingly opposite -- can such a pet still reflect their owners' dispositions? I would say yes – even those kinds of pets resemble their owners' tendencies – I’ll explain later. First, I will tell you about my pet.

So this pet that I own is kind of strange; definitely not people's first choice of pets like house cats or dogs. Does it mean I am eccentric and weird even, I hope so. Am I really me, or just a made up character? I won’t tell.

Anyway, so it is a she, for the mere fact that I seem to identify with females. She likes cakes and chocolates but knows they are bad for her, so she eats salads and vegetables but no meat. That would be like eating your own kind, she says. She eats fairly regularly, except for when she gets lazy or too busy. Oh yes, she certainly has lazy tendencies.

Her fur is really soft. She would love to be purple or green, but of course like most pets, she is a kind of earth color, probably greyish-white. Her eyes are green-blueish. She has long legs and fairly small feet. But that’s ok, small feet are more attractive to mates -- she knows that.

I picture her being more of an observer. I know that because she is never direct. She despises drugs and mostly stays sober. But if she plans on partying, she parties hard. Probably until the next day. She has a handful of friends and knows a lot of people. I, her owner, love her loyalty. She would never, never sneak up on you from behind, if you are her friend; but, she would also never pretend she likes your smell if she does not.

A regular day looks like follows. She wakes up whenever she pleases, most likely when I am already gone for work. She goes into the kitchen, and she always does it in the same fashion, pretending like she is just strolling, when in reality she is on a mission--a mission to get food. Maybe she does not want anyone to steal her food, and if she acts like she is not interested in it, no one will ever discover that she is going for the grub. After breakfast, she leaves the house. She doesn't want me to I know, since pets are not supposed to leave the house, but I am well aware of her daily visits to Café Rouge. She spends hours there. Until shortly before I return home, she has chit-chats with the guests there.

When I come home, she demands food again. Sometimes, she flushes her pet food down the toilet when she has eaten at the Café, which she does not want me to know. I told you she is loyal – she knows my feelings would be hurt if I knew she ate somebody else's food. After dinner she lays down for a good two hour nap. When she wakes, she runs around for a good ten minutes, must be her exercise program. If she wants it, she comes over to cuddle afterward. If not, she just sits apathetically on the couch next to me.

Oh I love my bunny, an angora rabbit to be precise. Or was she a Chinchilla? Hm, not important.

Oh yes, and even aggressive pets resemble their seemingly opposite owner since aggression stems from insecurities. And I can see an old lady having a lot of them, can’t you?

What is Love?

While browsing through job ads I came across the following...

Seeking Relationship Writers (New York City)

Hello! I am a recruiter for a major news website. Top 15th to be exact. We are made up of thousands of freelance writers who each contribute their own articles about topics they truly enjoy. Our writers are what make our website great, and we are looking to recruit even more! Currently we would like to hire new writers to write about relationship related topics. If interested please respond back to this ad at your soonest convenience!

Thank you!

Here is my response:

I have been in a long distance relationship for eight years, before I finally moved from Germany to New York to wed my long term boyfriend. My brother in law was kicked out of his own apartment five weeks after he had moved into the place with his girlfriend. Two of my best friends are taking a break from their marriage. My sweet friend has been cheated on her boyfriend, twice. Recently, I told one of my friends I didn't want to invest in our friendship anymore -- two months after we met -- it felt like a break up. Whether I made up these stories or not is irrelevant, don't they happen every day?

Love, isn't that what life is about? Aren't we all thriving for the perfect relationship? Aren't we all longing for a partner who honors and respects us, and makes us feel like we have just fallen in love after years together? Relationships, what are they made of? What makes them work and what makes them fail? I am not sure if we will ever find answers, but I am certain there is always something to talk about. Focusing on love from a psychological point of view, interesting. Talking to others about their experience, great. Do these famous people have it figured out? As William Shakespeare said in Midsummer nights dream "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind," and Mother Theresa states "The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread," while Albert Einstein claims, "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."

As you can tell, I do not like standard cover letters!

Homage to... Women

Shout out to Rihanna and Ciara!

Do I really have to explain why I am shouting out to these women? If you don't think so just go ahead, skip the text and watch these incredible videos! (Not without thanking directors Anthony Mandler - director Te Amo and Diane Marte - director(in) Ridin.) Btw, in German we add 'in to titles and job descriptions for females, so an extra shout out to a female director!

Women in leading positions are still rare, women do get paid less than men for the same kind of work. Because of that, I am extra proud of women that really accomplish things in life, are true to themselves, and project confidence. Those women can be women that are close to me like my mom, my sisters, or friends. Those women can also be women that I never even met. Michelle Obama is one of them, Madonna or Meryl Streep, too, to name a few.

Why? Women are confronted with body images on the daily. When walking through the city, watching TV or reading a magazine, women are portrayed with perfect features, which we all know are faked, thanks to photoshop. Women are expected to look perfect be a good wife, a great mother, an impeccable sister.

Women have it hard, but women in public have it extra hard. Imagine being watched and commented on all the time. Therefore, I wanted to shout out to Rihanna. We all know what her ex has done to her, the image of her bruised face went around the world. One can only imagine how humiliated she must have been. These things break woman but she went on and spoke out. Now, she is stronger and more successful than ever. Her latest music video "Te Amo" is a beautiful caption of the songs lyrics. Rihanna is a great performer and pairing her talent with supermodel Laetitia Casta makes an awesome piece of music video. Rihanna is just beautiful inside and out, and I hope she continues to be confident in herself - I have no doubt she will.

Another public figure I have always looked up to is Ciara. I can't get enough of her latest video "Ridin" feat. Ludacris. She is just beautiful and I can't believe how well she dances. It is so refreshing seeing a woman with that kind of confidence, when was the last time a female (hip hop) singer has wowed us like that? The video does portray her skills so well, and it shows her strength as well as love to music and dance.

Ciara and Rihanna truly are role models for young women today. They are successful, not only in a male dominated genre, but a male dominated world. You girls inspire all of us. You portray talent, interest, confidence and beauty.

Thank you Rihanna and Ciara,

Keep inspiring us!

Last day!

My 6-month training program at Shopwiki ended today.

Here is my very last post. Now I am looking at weeks of time for reading, writing, working out, reflecting, relaxing etc...

Link to some of my guides. *Some have been edited and added to after I finished them, which in some cases adds content and spelling mistakes I haven't approved or made.

My top guides:

Your first Christmas with the parents in-law

Turning Into a Gym Lover if You are the Outdoorsy Type

Fatih Akin Movies

Arthouse Cinema

Phsychothriller

How to Deal with Winter Depression 


One sample outfit I put together to wear with a camel coat, I would wear that!

Moving...

To a New Place in LIFE

Moving to a new place is a BIG deal. Moving in New York specifically is a BIG deal. I spoke to a woman in her 50's from San Diego, who helped her daughter find a place in Manhattan, who said t hat it was harder than buying million Dollar properties in Cali. While I almost gave up on our "dream place", her words -- as discouraging as they could have been -- they reassured me by proving that taking time and demanding all kinds of additional documents from a potential tenant, making them feel like chances are really low, is not out of the ordinary.

Now, three weeks after looking at this apartment, we are all moved in. It is my third night here and I am still getting used to it. At every slight sound, I am looking around, trying to find out where it came from. Fidel, our cat, is doing the same. I almost feel guilty realizing that it is taking him a while to get used to it, too. He has not been eating as much as usual and he is mostly hiding, preferably behind the couch or in the bed room. I wonder how long it will take us to feel completely comfortable. The apartment is great. It already looks awesome, with little furniture we had. It feels like a home, it is wonderful; yet, it is a new environment that just takes time to adjust to.

While I am getting used to it, I am thinking about how exciting changes are. Doing new things is inspirational. It gives me more energy, it makes my creativity flow. It reminds me of how quick we live in the status quo; it shows me how much our brains need to be stimulated.

Delay. Writer's block. Thinking. Stuck. Maybe. None.

Sorry for taking my time.
I will get back to make this a regular thing, although I do not have to comment on every little thing that is going on in the world unlike alot of other madia outlets out there e.g., a two year old chain smoking, or Lindsay Lohan and her latest court appearance. And despite the fact you will not find many personal things on here, what has been going on lately is this:

I went here,
started working there,
to write these,
and this one.
While I am still trying to get to know myself,
and figuring out cultural differences between
here,
and
there...

I ♥ New York

City Stories: Danny and the Homeless



Image by Francis Joseph

Rainy day, umbrellas turn over, bump into each other, poke one another. The usual crowded subways, which on days like these seem even more unpleasant. The cramped up cars become cramped up with people’s somber moods very much influenced by the grey skies. On New York trains, people never look you in the face--at least not the locals. But some have a hard time looking away, trying not to meet anybody else’s eyes, like me. However, it seems like a part of New York’s culture, and maybe it is an American thing--one looks away, trying to be extra discrete.

New Yorkers spend a lot of time on the subway, and half its riders bring along a book or paper or magazine to read to make time pass. Luckily I had my book when I heard the following.

“ Hi my name is Danny, I used to get paid until I lost my job because I broke one shoulder. Since I am from Brazil I don’t see no food stamps, no welfare, nothing. Basically I have no money to pay for food or rent, so if you could help out with a dollar, a quarter, a dime, anything will help, thank you, god bless you.”

When people hear words like that, they usually try not to look. Sometimes it makes you shrug when someone yells out something like that while you are really into your book. Danny had a very loud, strong, almost intruding voice. I felt disturbed and was glad I had my book, since it becomes harder not to look up when someone is soliciting on the train. Danny looked like he was a young man in his mid twenties. I noticed his neatly shaped beard. I was wondering how he affords rent now, and why he would not find work that would not demand his shoulder. I didn’t know if that was a fair thought or not.

Danny passed me, collected some coins, which I heard pinging into his cup, and I went back to my book.

Minutes later another man enters the subway car. His appearance differs greatly from Danny’s. He is not very tall, his hood covers most of his face, he has a wildly grown full beard and his clothes are baggy and dirty. His voice is soft and way quieter.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am homeless looking for help. If you can assist me with some money or food, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, sorry to disturb.”

Out of the sudden another voice raises.

“You should learn how to juggle”, says a tall man in a black long coat and jeans.

“What?”

“You should learn how to juggle. People usually have to work in order to earn money for food, so if you learn how to do something, too, people are willing to pay you for your efforts.”

“Ok, I will try”, said the homeless man quietly and strove along through the subway car.

I could not help but be surprised at both men reactions. Although I feel like the guy had a point to what he was saying, he sounded kind of rude. Regardless, the homeless guy did respond politely and sounded like he would actually take learning to juggle into account.

I was thinking that Danny’s approach was wrong, too intrusive. Unfortunately, we are too used to homeless people asking for money on trains; therefore, different approaches could definitely be refreshing and enable someone to raise more money. At the same time, people are really in need, and I don’t know who would feel like entertaining a crowd on an empty stomach, after a possible cold, sleepless night outside…

Brain Stimulation

Homage to... MUSIC




Sometimes I need music to get by, usually when I’m feeling blue. Other times I am trying to distract myself from my surroundings with music--usually happens on public transportation when involuntarily sharing public sphere with people I otherwise would try to avoid. Or I am feeling a certain mood that I want to be complemented by it's musical match. Music is an all round tool for different scenarios I once in a while face. It is a carrier through my inner journeys, good and bad, and without it, I know I wouldn’t find life as pleasurable. In fact, I do not think I would have been the person I am without music in my life, which I once felt like I needed daily.

When I was in my teens, I was able to fall asleep to trash metal. Not because I did not care about what I was listening to, but because I was listening so intensely, focusing on the different components of a song, such as the double bass, or the guitar riffs and strumming, the lyrics, or the way it’s been sung that at some point I would get tired and fall asleep.

Those were times, where everyday I would shuffle through songs from every genre my ipod provided me with. I would wake up to music by my radio alarm clock, then commute to college with music accompanying me, often fading out people’s early morning conversations which I was allergic to, and continued listening to my songs until I got to my lectures and finally settled down to reconnect to the world outside of me by removing the earbuds and opening up to the world outside again.

Until my early teens I would even listen to music while working on homework assignments. Throughout college I noticed it changed, probably because my assignments required a bit more attention. And gradually, I began listening to music less. Nowadays, at the end of my twenties, the way I consume music has drastically changed.

I do not listen to music everyday anymore. Sometimes there can be a whole week without listening to it. I mean, yes, there would be the radio playing in the background, but that has little to do with really listening to music. Today, I need a good sound system to enjoy music. I can lose myself listening over headphones for hours, or play it at home over my speakers. I hate flat sounding systems, and when I visit friends and family who do not own somewhat decent speakers, I almost want to pity them and tell them to turn the music off. After all the artist and producers created their music in a certain way, therefore if you are not listening to it in the proper way, which means a decent sound systems that allows you to hear the depths of the song, it is not the same anymore.

When I was younger I could have never imagined to not listen to music everyday.
Now, I need my quiet more. Now, I need to listen more intensely, and now, it has an even greater effect on me then it ever had. Music you are a great friend, and I would never want to be without you!

Right now, I am listening to Jimi Hendrix’ “Watchtower” on Youtube. That video was last commented with “Chewing Gum Stimulates the Brain”--which I first thought was hinting to Hendrix’ drug addiction, and was more of an appeal (I thought that would have been kind of funny)--turns out the comment means exactly what it says, no ambiguity, no hinting to long gone Hendrix and his addiction, just someone who wanted to add something random. On that note, let me just add the following: I find that music stimulates my brain, and the best thing about it is, I can choose when I want to be stimulated. Music to me, IS THE GREATEST DRUG I NEVER WANT TO CURE MY ADDICTION TO!