The World, Wide Web

I feel alone in the vastness of being (online).

I browse the world with a tab, and another tab, then another one.

Repeat.

I connect to the artificial world on TV which turns into my family, my travel partner, my adventurist, my unqualified psychologist. 

For a little while the screen goes blank. 

The next one lights up. 

I'll find you satisfaction, in my never-ending blog roll. 

And I roll, and scroll. 

I'll be with you at least, until I am fake filled with happiness. 

Together we will be endless in this vast, vast world, wide web.

Until I go to sleep and dream of the world outside. 

The one I long to connect to.

But we forgot how that works in a city of facades, beautiful, blunt, big, and solitary people.

One with the world, wide web. 

All of us. 

9/11 Is a Teenager (We Will Never Forget)

13 Years Later

As the memorial lights pierce the Manhattan sky in memory of. September 11, forever a dark day. We cried a thousand times, tears of unjust suffering here and elsewhere. The numbers 9+11 in combination, innocent no more. These numbers forever engraved our minds with horror. So we chant: united we stand.

Louder. Forever. You and I together.

I also wanted to share a quote from "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close". It is one of my all time favorite novels. 

(Don't read on if you haven't read the book, instead, read the book by Jonathan Safran Foer.) The ending is so powerful and genius. In it, the protagonist Oskar reverses the horrors of the imagery of "the jumpers" who jumped out of the twin towers windows, before the building collapsed. 

"I ripped the pages out of the book. I reversed the order, so the last was the first, and the first was the last. When I flipped through them, it looked like the man was floating up through the sky. And if I'd had more pictures, he would've flown through a window, back into the building, and the smoke would've poured into the hole that plane was about to come out of." 

The Day My Heart Got Ripped Out

I had these reoccurring dreams ever since I left:

Something happened to you, and I was not by your side to help. It represented my biggest fear. 

The day I got the call from you my heart got ripped out, this time I wasn't dreaming.

I could not be by your side. 

I could not hold your hand. 

I could not wipe away your tears. 

I could not be there for you in your darkest hours. 

I could not cheer you up with my silly stories. 

I could not give you strength from afar.

I felt like I had failed you as your daughter. 

Love Me

Love me again,
pretend at least.
So I don't have to feel deprived.

Love me again.
Look at me please,
so I don't have to doubt again.

Love me again,
ignore my outbursts, they are only directed at myself.

Love me again,
like you did yesterday so full of passion, so boredom doesn't have to squeeze through the silent periods.

Love me again,
say these words again, so I don't have to think self-loathing thoughts.

Love me again,
come back to me so I don't have to run from myself once more.

Love me again,
turn around please, so I never have to feel alone again.

Come back to me even if it hurts,
for the pain of loss is greater.

E M - P A T H E T I C - M E

I tasted SOLITUDE
While listening to silence
It made me HAPPY.
I have seen SADNESS
It showed in deep lines around the mouth and eyes.
It is a reflection of perfectly organized rooms.
I feel emptiness in overcrowded spaces
Why do I feel the INVISIBLE that lies hiding inside the SOUL?

Have you ever seen THANKFULNESS
In small GESTURES by someone who loves you
It’s the type of LOVE that is overwhelming to me.
I have FELT for someone I didn’t know
Like it was me.
I can feel my STOMACH PINCHING with GUILT
For chasing happiness and LEAVING OTHERS BEHIND.
I monitor thoughts that eat me from within
Because I can never be allowed to VOICE them.

Have you ever SYMPATHIZED with empathy?
I decided to marry my INTUITION
To create a HOLY UNION between BODY and SOUL.

I ♥ New York

City of Facades
Why do you put on a front
Show me your real face
New places new faces everyday
What do you stand for
What do you long for

City of facades
You are packed with false dreams
Of made up realities
Plastered with ads by the agencies
All to depict one dream

City of facades you are so fake
Make us imitate what others create

City of facades
Packed and crowded
Pidgins shouting
The lost
And lonely
Acting like a family
You confuse jealousy
With insecurity

City of Facades
I want to own you
I want to know you
I want to hear you
I want to love you

Should I write from left to right

or from right to left?

I wanna be free with no obligations 

to call anyone

to go anywhere

find out

explore

breath in and out

clear the disc 

reformat thoughts 

writer's block

clogged thoughts

I wanna cuzz

I wanna cry

I wanna laugh

I wanna run 

away 

towards

close 

END